10 Food Rules To Live By or….well….Death Likely.

There is a lot of misinformation out there about healthy eating, dieting, and weight loss. Here are 10 simple rules to help clear that all up.

  1. Eat a diet balanced in fruit and vegetables, grains and starches, meats, legumes, and dairy.
  2. Try not to eat too much red meat or pork and focus on chicken, fish, and veggies to get the youthfulness of those in the Mediterranean. Replace butter with healthy olive oil.
  3. Add butter to your coffee to truly be healthy.
  4. When eating grains and starches, avoid gluten. Always choose gluten free.
  5. Avoid eating grains and starches, legumes as well as dairy to successfully go Paleo. Eat a diet balanced in meat, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fats.
  6. In addition to avoiding starches, legumes, and dairy, also cut out fruit so that you can follow a low carb, ketogenic diet.
  7. Avoid eating eggs, meat, dairy, and anything that comes from an animal, but feel free to include dairy alternatives such as almond or coconut milk, lots of fruit and vegetables, beans and lentils, grains and starches to properly follow a vegan diet. Don’t even look at honey, what are you some kind of animal!? Sorry, that was offensive to the animals probably.
  8. The grains and starches should not be starchy or processed. Focus on tubers, potatoes, corn, squash, yucca, etc. as part of the Whole Food Plant Based Diet.
  9. Do a juice cleanse often to help pick up the slack for your ill functioning liver and kidney. If it is not expensive, it aint working. Consider organic juice.
  10. Lastly, make sure that your food is clean. Eating dirty food is the absolutely worst of them all. With your clean food, drink kombucha.

With these 10 easy steps you’ll be the worlds healthiest person and all health issues should be cured permanently.

Bon appétit!

Bread basket

What the eff is gluten?

Gluten has been a major hot topic for way too long. Poor, poor gluten. So misunderstood, yet such a common buzz word! And the worst part is that the majority of people truly have no clue what gluten even is. Check out this hilarious video where Jimmy Kimmel actually proves that statement to be true! I find it interesting how different aspects of nutrition are so widely accepted and other messages are completely lost. People are totally willing to accept that aspartame causes seizures, egg yolks cause high cholesterol, and gluten causes weight gain, irritable bowel, acne, bloating, unicyclism, and largeelbowism, plus one million more really horrible things. Okay maybe I made some of those up. Point is, we hatin’ on gluten big time.

Okay, so stop wasting my time and just tell me what gluten is.

Well, simply put, gluten is a type of protein found in wheat. You may notice the word gluten sounds very similar to the word glue, and that my friend is no coincidence. Gluten holds everything together which is why it is found is some very unsuspecting places sometimes like sausages or toothpaste. It is there to hold everything together in one tight form.

Have you ever noticed when baking that one of the recipe directions might be to stir for 20 strokes or some random number that seems impossible to actually mix things within? Well that direction is actually helping your from overproducing gluten. Should you forego the direction and use 100 strokes, you’ll notice some very misshapen baked goods! If your cupcakes or lemon loafs always come out with huge cone like shapes on the top and you then are forced to go buy one and play it off as your own, then try a few less strokes!

Where is gluten found?

Since gluten is a protein found in wheat, you can assume everything made with some sort of grain-wheat, barley, rye, triticale, etc. contains gluten. That pretty well covers every single thing that comes from a bakery (that’s twice now I’ve stabbed you in the back delicious cinnamon rolls, sorry), breads, cookies, cakes, all baked goods, cereals, pasta, most sauces and gravies, beer, and that is just the start of the list!

Why would anyone avoid gluten?

If someone has an autoimmune condition called celiac disease, then they absolutely need to avoid gluten. This is a black and white diagnosis, you have it, or you don’t. There are tests your doctor can do to confirm this diagnosis but the best way is to do a scope of your intestines. If you have celiac disease, choosing not to follow the diet is not recommended and even dangerous for your health. There is also a condition called gluten intolerance or gluten sensitivity, this one is more of a grey area. There is a lack of consistent research on how to diagnosis and treat this condition and a lot of overlap between symptoms caused by irritable bowel syndrome. Going gluten free has also been brought to the attention of media in recent years in relation to autism spectrum disorder thanks to our famous health specialist, Jenny McCarthy. Research certainly lacks in this area to say the least.

Can avoiding gluten cause weight loss?

That is a complex question. In short, yes. BUT. And there is most certainly a but. It depends on your approach. If you cut out every food listed in the “where is gluten found” section, of course you would lose weight because it essentially eliminates all processed sweets and treats, and turns the focus of the diet to proteins, fruits and veggies, and dairy.  However, you can certainly take the same approach to weight loss with gluten included by reducing your portions of the gluten containing foods and focusing the diet on protein, fruit and veggies, and dairy. Thanks to the trend of people going gluten free and turning it into a booming money making business, you can now happily buy gluten free baked goods of all kinds,  gluten free pizzas, pasta, you name it, and it exists. For a pretty price I may add as the gluten free products often they run 1.5-3x the price of their gluten containing counterparts.

I’m not hating on you gluten free’ers who have gone down that road by choice and not out of necessity, and if it helped you than even better. However, for all of you out there who believe it will be the next big weight loss secret, I would keep following the yellow brick road.